Snapshots of Elders . . . The Beauty and Bounty of Aging Within Community

I am freshly 62 years old and still at times cringe to think that I am considered a “crone” or “elderly” because of my chronological age. When some sweet young stranger lets me know that I can have a senior discount at her place of employment, my dominant-culturally trained vanity kicks in. Do I actually look my age? Ouch, that hurts. It hurts, when walking in some busy, public place, to see the eyes of those in their teens, twenties, and even thirties slide by me with apathy because I’m too old to be of interest.

I ache when I subject myself to advertising in the dominant culture’s media that emphasizes the profitable commodity of the vigor and physical beauty of youth (or at least the appearance of it), disregarding the value of maturing physically, experientially, and psychospiritually. It hurts to see so many of mainstream society’s elderly condemned (due to financial and family factors) to the undesirable and sometimes hidden margins of society, living in situations that are not nourishing, empowering, or health-promoting.

Most of my aching and cringing disappear when I am “home” in the culture of an intentional community of currently 103 members. I feel valued and vigorous. It doesn’t matter if I look my age or am considered an elder because I really feel respected and loved by my very large, extended family of community members, and I think that most elders of the community would concur with me.

If being 50 years of age or older is considered being an “elder,” then almost one-third of the membership of Global Community Communications Alliance (GCCA) consists of elders, thirty-three to be exact. We also have another understanding of the concept of “elder,” as has been historically the case in many cultures for thousands of years. Eldership implies not only the number of years an individual has lived on this earth, it also indicates the psychospiritual maturity, wisdom, experience, and leadership abilities of a soul. In that sense, I have been considered an “elder” from the beginning of the formation of the intentional community I co-founded at the ripe old age of 39.

At this time GCCA has a Board of Elders of ten individuals, ranging in age from 80 (one) to the mid 40s (two in number). We also have another level of leadership or eldership that includes twenty-three additional members who range in ages from the mid 70s to the late 30s. So, eldership in this context is not necessarily confined to chronological age, though age of living life definitely is a determiner.

From the very beginning of the formation of what is now Global Community Communications Alliance, the emphasis for joining had nothing to do with chronological age but with a sense of calling or mission that inspired an individual to consider becoming part of this particular enterprise of community-building. In those beginning days, two of our more stable and permanent members were in their late 50s when they joined, but we had many in their early 20s as well as in their middle ages.

What we discovered is that the “staying power” had more to do with an individual feeling that he or she had a purposeful place in the community, feeling valued as a unique person, and willing to experience the rigorous discipline of community building and soul building. Understandably, more of those in their middle and elder years “stayed” for the long run of creating and maintaining community, thus providing a more stable foundation for those younger to join a few years later. At times, youth—in its impetuousness and wanderlust—has enticed those chronologically younger to leave our community before really rooting themselves in the solid foundation of life within the circles of a village and extended family, in contrast to those with more years under their belts, who seem to ride the waves of life’s ups and downs with more balance and, thus, their staying power.

In relation to the chronological age of being an elder, there are many in our community who I admire. Olga emigrated from Germany at age 82 to join GCCA. She had lived her whole life as a single person, traveling around the world, working in a profession until retirement, and pursuing personal spiritual expansion. She lived with us for ten years before passing on in our community hospice.

Up to the last couple of months of her life Olga insisted on having “jobs” to do. When asked how she could make such a drastic change in her life at the age of 82—leaving her native country where she lived an independent and very quiet life to be in a communal situation in another country—Olga stated that she was not done living yet and that she couldn’t really “live” in the culture she was in. So, after approximately a year of correspondence with GCCA, she moved to become a part of this community, attending two weekly evening classes of spiritual studies and working approximately four hours a day in various functions, including being a translator.

I think of others who joined GCCA in their “twilight” years—people who had retired from their life-long jobs (single as well as couples) and who indicated that they didn’t want to be “put out to pasture” or live a marginal life with mainly other elders, separated from other age groups and trans-generational activities. Each one of these souls didn’t think they were done growing psychospiritually and wanted to continue expanding intellectually as well as learn new skills.

Some of them were in great physical health when first joining and then eventually declined physically as they aged. Others came with many health problems, and though most claim that their health has greatly improved, there have been the few whose physical health continues to deteriorate quickly, requiring much physical care from other community members as well as many trips to their physicians located in nearby towns and cities.

There have been those few who were initially very excited about living in a community that encouraged continued psychospiritual growth and provided opportunities for meaningful work and loving socialization with people of all ages. But as the months passed (and for one it was years), for whatever reasons they grew weary of living in GCCA and “retired” into mainstream society. Mostly though, those who joined GCCA as elders have remained and plan on passing on within the community hospice setting, of which there have already been five.

Recognizing the value and significance of aging individuals, after fifteen years of providing hospice care for our community members, we established and operate Soulistic Hospice with a trained and certified team of fourteen community members and five non-community members—ranging from a psychologist, medical doctor, nurses, to massage therapists, ministers, office staff, and other healthcare professionals—that assist elders (and their loved ones) in mainstream society in their transition time from this world. The at-home care and nurturing affords each older person to move into their graduation from this life with much dignity and peace.

Community member Marayeh, 67, is the Administrative Director and psychologist for Soulistic Hospice, and Landau, 63, is the Medical Director and practicing physician. Besides these two elders, seven other community staff members are elders, ranging from 54 to 64 years of age.

Karina (whose name has been changed for privacy purposes) was a widow of more than twenty years when she first contacted GCCA. She had suffered decades of depression and poor physical health and had lived alone since the death of her husband. She was geographically apart from her four grown children and several grandchildren, as well as also relationship-wise separated from two of those children and their families.

She initially stayed in the community for one week as a resident visitor, celebrating her 68th birthday during that first visit. About a month later she decided to join the community for a six-month initiate interim to investigate if living in this particular community would be a good fit. That was two years ago, and she continues to express her gratitude for a less lonely life.

Karina started out sharing a room with a woman a couple of years older than she and recently changed to having a roommate who is in her mid-twenties because both elders requested moving to a community home that had more young people in it because they were tired of living in a home with mainly elders. Interestingly, Karena’s new younger roommate had requested to live in a home that had more mature and older people because she felt she needed the stability that elders provided.

Karina had not worked for twenty years when she joined the community, but immediately asked to help out with the preschool- and primary-age children a couple of hours a day. Though she does have some physical limitations, she was able to “work” with the children and now assists in teaching four hours a morning as well as filling in where needed in the kitchen for an hour or two in the afternoons if she feels physically able.

Cynthia came to live in GCCA eight years ago at the age of 66. She entered an extended initiate program for one year before deciding to become a full-time community member. She had been crippled with arthritis and other medical problems for many years before coming to live in the community and doesn’t think that her physical health has really improved that much. But she says she is much happier and less lonely, though she feels she still needs emotional healing from events that happened to her in her childhood and youth.

She also loves learning and is an avid student in two evening classes of spiritual studies as well as tutoring one evening with some young men. She also teaches individual piano lessons to several children and three adults and periodically conducts six-week workshops on the life and music of certain composers of classical music. She even gave salsa dance lessons a couple of years ago when it was discovered that in her younger years she danced the nights away. And she assists almost daily in the community personnel office. Just recently Cynthia indicated that she would like to volunteer as a receptionist a half a day a week at the local state park.

Almost all elders in GCCA pass on certain skills to interested younger people in the community. Leo and Phlon are elders in their early 70s who oversee the vehicle mechanics area. Several younger people have apprenticed under them, learning to maintenance cars, trucks, and tractors. Leo is a “jack of all trades” and is in constant demand to assist others in repairing coolers, washing machines, electrical wiring, and so on. He also is a wonderful liaison with the larger community outside of GCAA, interacting with other jacks of all trades to swap ideas about challenging repair problems.

Kamon, our head farmer is in his mid 60s and is a real hit with the rugged cowboys and ranchers in this area who usually shake their heads at those “liberal organic gardeners and granola eaters” who are moving into Arizona. Well, they don’t necessarily “tisk tisk” over us in GCCA because they know and respect Kamon, who is also a Vietnam War veteran. In fact, some of those hard-core desert dwellers drop in to visit our gardens and community, often staying for the communal lunch or dinner and even confess that it was a good meal, regardless of it being beefless and organic.

Many community members have Kamon as their instructor in spiritual studies as well as learning horsemanship, gardening, fence building, and many other useful and practical skills. He also is a well-known artist in the southwest, using natural items from our gardens as well as from the desert around him to create beautiful art—flutes and other instruments as well as vessels and jewelry. He has a 16 year-old apprenticing under him in this area.

Elinsa joined GCCA at 64 years of age and has been here for 9 years. Though she has volunteered in many areas of the community, she now works part-time in Global Family Legal Services, an outreach program for GCCA. Elinsa uses her experience of living in Latin America for many years and bilingual skills in serving many of the Spanish-speaking clients who come in to see the attorney, Celinas who is 61.

Clistine, who has been with GCCA for 15 years and is now 75, is the coordinator for the younger children’s educational programs—nursery, preschool, and primary school. She trains younger people interested in becoming educators and assists them in their curriculum planning and writing. She also is the music director for the community’s forty-person choir that performs in the surrounding area. Clistine has written several books and for many years directed a community theater troupe, blessing others with her rich dance and theatrical experiences and training, including graduating from the Royal Academy of Art in London. She continues to teach creative writing and often reads her poetry at open-mic and poetry-reading events.

Sixteen years ago, at 62 years old Spectra emigrated from Australia to join GCCA and continued her nursing skills as a volunteer in the community and with a physician who served not only community members but patients in the neighboring area. Many have benefited from her loving ministry when they were ill, and she has always been there for our community hospice.

As a child in Holland, she suffered from T.B. of the bone and spent a couple of years in the sanatorium before it closed down due to the Second World War that came to Spectra’s doorstep. She was crippled with a damaged hip because of her childhood illness, but that never slowed Spectra down. Most in the community have enjoyed her stories of her life as a child in Holland as well as of her family’s immigration to Australia and her new life in that wild country as a young woman.

From the time she arrived, Spectra has played “grandma” to many of the little children, and now at 78 she has slowed down due to her increasing physical limitations and can often be seen sitting on a porch of one of the community homes with two to five little children sitting with her as she reads to them or serves them snacks or teaches them sewing and mending.

There are other elders who have given so much of themselves for the enrichment of others’ lives and who have themselves been enriched by living in this community. I know that actively living in any true community is a win-win situation, whether the community be an extended biological family, a church group, a religious order, a neighborhood, or some other type of intentional community.

One of the great losses of our modern (and often materialistic and shallow) society is the discarding of elders. In addition, the great rise in “assisted living” and other “homes” for the elderly continues to further foster the separation of the oldest and often wisest generation of living humans from those younger and often still groping generations who are to inherit the mantle of world operations. What a tragedy, to rob both young and old of the pleasure and myriad benefits of shared lives with one another. I personally feel blessed to be part of a world-wide movement of intentional communities creating cultures that value people of all ages—from 1 to 99.